Ljudteknikerns jobbeskrivning...
Postat: ons 23 maj 2007, 10:02
Ett inlägg på PSW från en kille som heter Toby Mills som jag tyckte var så klockrent att det borde återges här också. Diskussionen handlade från början om ljudnivåer (som ju nyligen diskuterades här), och gled sedan in på allt omöjligt vi som tekniker ofta förutsätts kunna göra. Fysikens lagar går ju inte att ändra, hur mycket man ibland än vill att det ska vara så.
Most engineers or sound companies get asked to defy the laws of physics on a daily basis, its part of the job description.
I guess thats why some engineers write "God" on the masters.
From the blue rince moaner standing in front of the stacks to the 20 year old 'musician' standing at the back complaining it isn't loud enough.
The female vocalist who whispers into her mic then complains the monitors aren't loud enough.
The Drummers who want overheads in their drum-fill.
The Guitarists with 200watt quad boxes.
The mic cupping vocalist that insist on pointing their mics at monitors.
The venues with a 1/4 second slap-back that slams right into the stage.
The dance troupe that turns up with a cassette tape.
The event organisers that ask you to move FOH 3 feet to the left after its all setup 10 minutes before showtime.
The parent that complains they can't hear little johnny who is playing out of tune and ruining the performance.
The 'soloist' that is actually a 12 piece latin dance band.
Drummers who have tuned their toms with more tone than big ben.
The mad pack-in because the venue is in use right up until 1 hour before show time.
The frantic call from the organiser who's show starts in 1 hour and the band has turned up without a PA.
Did I mention Guitarists????
Next time you are posting a job opportunity, why not just say...
"Wanted Sound Engineer, can you routinely defy the laws of physics without blinking an eye, work insanely long hours without food or sleep, create the perfect mix every time that every single person in the audience will love, work with musicians who know nothing but think they know everything while simultaneously anticipating every possible problem and potential screw-up that is not your responsibility but will severely impact the ability to do your job"
Remind me why we do this again?
Oh yeah, its the chicks, fame and fortune
wait a minute!
somethings wrong here.
Most engineers or sound companies get asked to defy the laws of physics on a daily basis, its part of the job description.
I guess thats why some engineers write "God" on the masters.
From the blue rince moaner standing in front of the stacks to the 20 year old 'musician' standing at the back complaining it isn't loud enough.
The female vocalist who whispers into her mic then complains the monitors aren't loud enough.
The Drummers who want overheads in their drum-fill.
The Guitarists with 200watt quad boxes.
The mic cupping vocalist that insist on pointing their mics at monitors.
The venues with a 1/4 second slap-back that slams right into the stage.
The dance troupe that turns up with a cassette tape.
The event organisers that ask you to move FOH 3 feet to the left after its all setup 10 minutes before showtime.
The parent that complains they can't hear little johnny who is playing out of tune and ruining the performance.
The 'soloist' that is actually a 12 piece latin dance band.
Drummers who have tuned their toms with more tone than big ben.
The mad pack-in because the venue is in use right up until 1 hour before show time.
The frantic call from the organiser who's show starts in 1 hour and the band has turned up without a PA.
Did I mention Guitarists????
Next time you are posting a job opportunity, why not just say...
"Wanted Sound Engineer, can you routinely defy the laws of physics without blinking an eye, work insanely long hours without food or sleep, create the perfect mix every time that every single person in the audience will love, work with musicians who know nothing but think they know everything while simultaneously anticipating every possible problem and potential screw-up that is not your responsibility but will severely impact the ability to do your job"
Remind me why we do this again?
Oh yeah, its the chicks, fame and fortune
wait a minute!
somethings wrong here.
eller, förresten... kanske börja köra ljus istället 
Helt rätt!